I’m quite convinced that life is more than acting like a Christian. To be sure, it is important to live a life submitted to the will of God. But there must also be a deep passion.

Have you ever seen something “again” for the first time?

A couple of weeks ago I was meditating on Scripture in a prayer time before our Church’s first service. I was thinking about the words of Jesus as he was celebrating his final passover with the Apostles. It certainly wasn’t the first time I’d meditated on this passage. But this time something different stood out to me.

When the hour came, Jesus and his apostles reclined at the table. And he said to them, “I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God. (Luke 22:14-16 emphasis added)

Jesus “…eagerly desired to eat this Passover….” He was doing the will of the Father. But it was also the desire of his heart to do so. Which led me to some introspection.

I Don’t Measure Up

I can certainly say that I believe in God and in the sufficiency of what was done for all believers by Christ on the cross – that he has died, is risen, and will come again. But, oh the passions of my heart do not line up with the things of God.

• I desire to have a deep and abiding relationship with God but I lack the desire to spend time with him unless its convenient. (Matthew 6:33)
• If I examine my heart I find that I would often choose wealth in this world over the wealth of heaven (Matthew 13:22, Luke 12:11, Luke 12:33-34).
• I often find my heart turned towards gaining glory for myself rather than for God.
• I do “Christian” things. But too often out of a sense of duty or requirement than out of the joy of a pure heart.

Further, if I believe that the chief end of humanity is to “glorify God and enjoy him forever” (Westminster Shorter Catechism), I find myself deeply wanting if the desires of my heart are not aligned with God’s. If the desires of my heart pull and the laziness of my body pull me away from him. If I find myself subject to any rule other than his alone.

And I am wanting. Deeply wanting.

The Grace of God

But, by God’s grace alone, I want for the desires of my heart to be his desires. I want for the focus of my life to be his glory. I want for my passion to be his divine presence in my life.

And the grace of God that is causes my want is enough. That deep yearning is enough to propel me. It is enough to prick my heart. It is enough to move me to allow God to increase in my life. And it is enough, through the work of the Holy Spirit, to form me into the image of Christ.

Whether in spite of my stubbornness or in light of my cooperation with the ongoing work of God in my life, it is enough.

How about you?

• Are you wanting?
• Is it enough for you to simply trust God?
• Do you see time when God works through you?
• Do you see times when God works in spite of you?
• Would you like to share your journey and story?